Wednesday, January 28, 2015

The Punk Rock Response To The Lame Ass NFL Starring Marshawn Lynch

I'm Just Here So I won't Get Fined.

-Marshawn Lynch

The National Football League is a fucking joke.  Between that and the lame ass bandwagon fans that jump on and off depending on a teams win/lost record have really soured me on watching football.  Well, that and the shitty commentary teams that viewers get subjected to.  So, this decade, the sports league that gets to be the joke is the NFL, the other organizations thank you.

The root of this is probably due to the braindead politician in charge of the league, Roger Goodell.  I bet the makeup artists work extremely hard to cover the brown streak on his nose.  I mean, I'd assume it would be stained considering where he keeps it.  He is more concerned with the leagues public image than acting as an unbiased leader, with very little regard for fairness when it comes to punishments for rule breaking.

I mean, this is the league that considered a two game suspension just for a professional athlete knocking his wife out cold.  They even had video, but tried to hide it, because it's more important for the league to look good, than admit that one of their players could commit such a horrible act.  Of course, because of that fuck up, when they backpeddled and tried to cover their asses, Ray Rice challenged and had it overturned.  Good job Goodell.  You were made the bitch of the players union.

But, they will make sure to enforce fines for a player who skips a media appearance.  And I know, people will piss and moan that "oh, he's a highly paid professional athlete, he should quit bitching and just go out and do his job".  I somewhat agree with that, as he signed a contract, and agreed to it as part of that contract.  Of course, it does seem petty as fuck that the NFL will enforce this beause they believe they are some legit kind of authority, but will cover up for a piece of shit that beats women.  Fuck the NFL.

So, Lynch did what I think is the most punk rock thing anyone in the NFL could do, and that's set a timer on his phone, and respond to everyone with the same answer.  Me, I applaud him for spitting in the face of those fuckers.  After all, he did what he agreed to do, he answered reporters questions, and he gave them the answer he wanted.

Monday, January 26, 2015

A Quote by Patti Smith

Sometimes you're doing really well, then, after three or four years, everything inexplicably crashes like a house of cards and you have to rebuild it. It's not like you get to a point where you're all right for the rest of your life.
-Patti Smith


Tuesday, January 20, 2015

That time I Insulted A Burlesque Dancer

Empathy is a tool for building people into groups, for allowing us to function as more than self-obsessed individuals.

-Neil Gaiman

There are situations where you are trying to be funny, and end up just saying something fucking dumb.   I did this very recently, and even mentioned it in a previous post.  With a group of people playing Cards Against Humanity, it's not uncommon for vile and awful jokes to get thrown around.  It's pretty much expected.  And I managed to make a joke that caused everyone to go quiet.  And it wasn't even that good a joke.

 "What is the difference between a stripper and a burlesque dancer?  A burlesque dancer doesn't have daddy issues"

And of course, a woman who performs burlesque was sitting at the table.  Fuck me, right?   I did appologize for the lame joke, not meaning to intend it as a direct insult, and was just being a smartass (or dumbass, you pick).  She was cool about it, and began telling someone else about the kind of stuff she does.  She also showed me a video of the pasties she purchased that had color changing LED's (no, it was not a video of her wearing them, just that they were delivered and looked cool).

So, I fully admit to it being just a dick thing to do.  It would be different had this been a person I know, and it was some type of inside joke, and ha ha, you do artsy stripping, and such.  But, this was a person I had just met, I think.  She did seem familiar, and I suck at names and faces.  But, that's besides the point, and I'm glad she didn't get pissed off or was hurt, and at least somewhat forgiving of this loud mouth asshole who just insulted something she loves.  The intent was to get a dumb laugh, not to hurt someone.

I do find the whole burlesque thing facinating, and not because I'm a guy and would be there for the potential to see skin and boobies and such (come on folks, the internet offers plenty of that).  I always find it interesting to meet people who are have the abillity to say fuck you to any of societies so called "moralities".  Considering everyone grows up with the idea that seeing or showing off your privates is a pornographic act and you are a devient for either doing it, or watching it as it is being performed (ironically, the people who preach that sort of thing in the past are the ones whose computers get hosed by the amount of malware installed from adult entertainment sites).  I think it's a pretty badass mentality to have.  I also understand not everyone who performs does it as a fuck you to social standards, but because they believe in the art and performance aspect of it.

So, in the end, as usual, think before you make a bad joke (or at least know the people you are making the joke toward), and if you think that seeing a female nipple is vile and shameful, get the fuck over yourself.


Thursday, January 1, 2015

The reward for conformity is that everyone likes you but yourself

I spent New Years Eve sitting in a sports bar making bad jokes, drinking beer, and playing Cards Against Humanity.  It was not the most traditional way to celebrate the start of 2015, but fuck it, tradition is overrated.  Most peoples tradition involves a stupid hat, imitation champaigne, and a has-been TV presentor counting down til a tacky looking ball drops.

It's kind of weird to think that some people think an event is a waste if they don't go out and do the same thing as everyone else.  Of course, I've questioned peoples need to conform since I was in highschool.  I find it very strange, the idea of making any effort to fit in and be viewed as normal, even fashionable.  Efforts could be better spent being creative, in my opinion. One oddball making something cool will be remember long after your trendy jeans are no longer fashionable.

Me and my group of friends definately belonged on the Island of Misfit Toys, most of us still do.  I openly admit that I was a weird kid, and am still so as an adult.  Hell, I'm not much different now than I was when I was 15.  I still love so many of the same things I did at that age.  I still play video games, watch horror movies and read comics (which is an activity that was revived by my wife), and tend to just be a geek in general.  The biggest difference between 15 year old me, and present day me is I've learned to be more comfortable with myself and just not give any fucks as to how others view me.  It's a waste of time, and you constantly have to put in effort to keep up with whatever changes in the world of trendy dumb bullshit.

So, basically, what I'm saying is fuck it, be a sore thumb.  It's better to at least attempt to be one in a million rather than just another face in the crowd.

Trust me, you will survive.  I did, and I grew up in hillbilly hell.